Next Existence
Lynette Muniz
Next Existence
Saint Agatha in the Psych Ward
Caitlin Irish
Content Warnings: sexual assault, death, violence
Given the choice between defilement and faith, Saint Agatha chose
her Lord. She took great courage and never wavered
in the face of persecution.
Before the judge, I am told
to obey, take my rightful place
on my knees.
Tears falling steady, my fingertips shake
as I stiffen my spine in defiance.
This is my sentence for loving my God.
He does not come to my aid.
The most agonizing torture she endured was the excision
of her breasts. Though wracked with pain, her faith did not fail,
only growing stronger.
The barren skin
where my breasts used to be
clings to this hospital gown.
The nurses give me non-slip socks.
This is more than He ever sent.
She is one of many virgins named
in the Canon of the Mass.
They hallowed my months
of arduous torture, made pastries
of my womanhood.
Paintings of the moment I see in my nightmares
hang in every cathedral.
We all know my pain means nothing
to no one
as long as my hymen is intact.
She is thought to have died
in 251 AD, though the actual date is unknown.
I was only a child.
You allowed this to happen.
This is not what I thought love to be.
Saint Agatha, pray for us.
Do not send me your prayers.
Do not call me a martyr.
I did not want to die.
her Lord. She took great courage and never wavered
in the face of persecution.
Before the judge, I am told
to obey, take my rightful place
on my knees.
Tears falling steady, my fingertips shake
as I stiffen my spine in defiance.
This is my sentence for loving my God.
He does not come to my aid.
The most agonizing torture she endured was the excision
of her breasts. Though wracked with pain, her faith did not fail,
only growing stronger.
The barren skin
where my breasts used to be
clings to this hospital gown.
The nurses give me non-slip socks.
This is more than He ever sent.
She is one of many virgins named
in the Canon of the Mass.
They hallowed my months
of arduous torture, made pastries
of my womanhood.
Paintings of the moment I see in my nightmares
hang in every cathedral.
We all know my pain means nothing
to no one
as long as my hymen is intact.
She is thought to have died
in 251 AD, though the actual date is unknown.
I was only a child.
You allowed this to happen.
This is not what I thought love to be.
Saint Agatha, pray for us.
Do not send me your prayers.
Do not call me a martyr.
I did not want to die.
Caitlin is a new grad psychiatric nurse from the Midwest with a passion for mental health and wellness. She has previously been published in Auxocardia Journal, oakwood Literary and Arts Journal, Highly Sensitive Refuge, and OC87 Recovery Diaries. She is currently querying her first novel.
Lynette Muniz is a Bronx based Puerto Rican artist. She serves in the U.S Army and also sells her artwork. Her works center around beautiful people of color and she always adds an element of whimsy to them.
Links: (https://linktr.ee/Artheauxlyn)
Links: (https://linktr.ee/Artheauxlyn)
